Tag: Work

Praying for Presence: How the Examen Helps Me Focus
When I was a kid, there were nights at the dinner table when my dad would get quiet and start staring off into the distance. My sisters and I would joke, “Dad’s thinking about work again!” and the chorus of giggles would break him out of his trance and bring him back to dinner.

Now, at 41, I’m the one who’s prone to the “thinking about work” face at dinner and many other times as I try to shift from employee to father at the end of the workday.

As a civil defense attorney, I’ll regularly handle 200 or more cases at any given time, each with its own facts, medical records, litigation status, and hearing schedule.

As a father, I have four kids who are growing up way too fast — each with their own interests, likes/dislikes, friends, school assignments, extracurriculars, etc.

As a husband, I have an incredible wife who has kept me around for 12 years and counting, but we’re no longer carefree 20-somethings with little responsibility and an excess of free time. It’s frighteningly easy to lose track of each other amidst our sea of responsibilities and commitments.

RELATED: How I Use Ignatian Discernment to Make Decisions Big and Small

Alternating between those three main roles in my life, it can be difficult to be fully engaged in the present moment. There are dinners and vacations where I have replayed court hearings in my head, pondering how I could have performed better. There are file reviews at work where I continually think of kids’ sports schedules or weekend plans. There are times at work and with the family when I’m thinking of household repairs.

One thing that’s helped me with this is the Examen, a prayer formulated by St. Ignatius Loyola. I first came across the prayer when I was a teenager considering a Jesuit vocation. The whole of Ignatian spirituality, with its emphasis on finding God in all things, was such a revelation to my young mind, but this prayer made an impression and I recently resumed the practice of praying it at night. The basic outline of the prayer is a 5-step process:
1. Be aware you’re in God’s presence.
2. Ask for grace to see God’s work in your life.
3. Review the day in detail.
4. Reflect on specific actions and see whether they brought you closer to or farther away from God.
5. Make a resolution for tomorrow.
When a priest gives a homily at Mass, he takes the Gospel message and makes it applicable to the general congregation. When I pray the Examen, I try to feel I take it one step further and make it applicable directly to my life — my wife, my errands, my kids, my schedule, my work, my supervisor, my commute, and all of the nitty-gritty that makes up my life.

I think hidden within my lack of focus is the false belief that whatever I’m focused on is the most important, most pressing matter. Praying the Examen gently corrects this warped way of thinking by reminding me that everything is important, because everything relates back to God.

RELATED: Growing in Gratitude, Thanks to the Examen

The process of he fourth step, reflecting on my actions and whether they brought me closer to or farther from God, changes every day, but I’ll sometimes ask:
- Was I short with someone on a work call where I was just trying to get another task off the to-do list?
- Were my “blinders” on while I tried to go through my work day, missing opportunities to hear and see those souls that work alongside me?
- Should I have stopped by the desk of a colleague who was widowed last year and seen how she’s holding up?
- Did I pay attention to my kids when I came home?
- Did I focus on the stories they so eagerly conveyed to me, treasuring them as the gifts they are?
- Did I miss an opportunity to show more initiative, to ask questions, to be silly, to initiate play?
- Have I taken active steps today to work on my marriage?
- Have I listened to things my wife has expressed frustration over and given her empathy, as well as whatever support I could?
- Have I made efforts to connect with my wife and share myself, and not just go through the day on our parallel routes?
For me, the biggest benefit of the Examen is not just the act of praying it towards the end of the day, but rather the way it shapes my mind throughout the day. Getting in the habit of praying it has “trained” my brain to start considering those questions as I am going about my day. As I live in the present moment, I know that God is there and I know that the only way I can respond to him is by being present in that moment, noticing what he is offering me in that moment, and responding with love.

With regularly praying the Examen, my “thinking about work” face pops up less often. When I’m with my wife and kids, I’m with them — attuned to all the beautiful intricacies of the present moment.
October 25, 2024
Understanding Christian Hope for a New School Year

Every new school year brings its own set of expectations for the future. I have a privileged position to reflect on this reality, as I teach senior theology, which includes a course on vocations. This opportunity inspires me to consider the Christian theological virtue of hope and its effect on the life to which Christians are called.

Many seniors at Catholic high schools come from families with means, whose hopes for the future involve attending a prestigious college, achieving professional success, and solidifying their legacy. One finds these hopes imparted well onto these young people. Every year I overhear the usual questions of “Where will you be attending school next year?” and “What will you be studying?”

LISTEN: Saints for the School Year: Holy Men and Women to Accompany Teachers

Instilling hope for a successful college and professional career is a necessary step in procuring that future. These are noble goals that should offer opportunities for deeper growth in virtue. But hope for these things is a little different when considered through the lens of faith.

In Spe Salvi, an encyclical which provides Pope Benedict’s treatment of the virtue of hope, he describes “one who has hope” as one who “lives differently” (2). Benedict sees hope through the lens of the Resurrection of Jesus.

Because hope is understood in light of the Resurrection, one’s death, but also one’s life, is viewed differently, particularly when it comes to God’s call for our lives. The early Christian martyrs died with hope for their resurrections because they had faith in the Resurrection of Jesus, but they also lived with hope before their martyrdom. This belief did not invalidate the deaths they faced; their individual lives and, more importantly, life itself were just more real. It was in the face of these seemingly hopeless circumstances that God’s purpose for them became clear.

RELATED: The Road to Emmaus: A Journey Toward Hope

A common movie trope involves the hero realizing his weapon cannot pierce the monster’s scales from the outside, so he must be swallowed by it in order to defeat it. It appears as though the monster has won and hope seems lost, until the hero cuts himself out of the monster from the inside, both freeing himself and killing the monster. It was by initially relinquishing his power but maintaining the small strand of hope that success was possible.

There is a powerful metaphor here for the way Christ conquered death and established hope in the Resurrection. In the same way that God worked on humanity intrinsically: Allowing himself to be swallowed up by creation, by time, and ultimately by death, he could then cut his way out by the double-edged sword of his Word (cf. Heb 4:12). This is referred to as the kenosis, or self-emptying, of Jesus highlighted by St. Paul in Philippians 2:7.

Kenosis is not only a foundational idea to historical orthodox Christology, but a foundation of Christian spirituality and an essential element to fostering hope. Through kenosis, we can see the proper way of viewing hope: How Christians are called to “live differently,” including how they see their vocations. One discovers a vocation through kenosis in recognizing their relationship to the whole. There is a misguided notion that discerning one’s next steps in life is a realization of one’s individuality by rejection of community. For those raised in a Catholic environment, this often requires a shedding of one’s Catholic “identity.” This is misguided not only because of the rejection of Catholic practice, but also because it asserts the self above the community that formed it. Worse than St. Paul’s eye in 1 Corinthians 12:21 saying to his hand “I don’t need you!” it’s saying it to the whole body. The discerning young person, in recognizing oneself as one member of the Body of Christ, finds a calling in relation to the Body. This is why many high schools and colleges, including the ones where I teach, have built-in service days and organizations to help young people see themselves as connected to their local community.

RELATED: Pope Francis’ Advice for College Students

Every school year is a continued preparation for students to become who God has called them to be. I implore that we not only preach kenosis to do this but also live it and model it. One way I have tried to model this practice is to be a little vulnerable, professionally and personally. Being willing to risk at least a small humiliation can begin to empty one of pride. Admit to a time you were unfair to a friend or a jerk to a stranger and had to ask forgiveness. Tell an embarrassing story not just to connect, but to show you can live through it. Humility is the vehicle for kenosis; it empties our ego quickly, which is the only way our hope is no longer in the “I,” but like St. Paul, it is now in “Christ who lives in me” (Gal. 2:20).

Humility and kenosis are the tools for students to realize their vocation, which gives them hope when it is understood in light of the Resurrection of Jesus, leading them to live differently. Their time in school should foster hope that “does not disappoint” (Rom. 5:5) because it is in he who does not disappoint.

September 6, 2024
5 Proverbs to Make You a Better Employee

The book of Proverbs may have been written centuries ago for an agrarian Middle Eastern society, but its wisdom isn’t bound by the confines of the “B.C.” era or the lifestyle of the ancient Israelites. From marriage to money to food, this book has something relevant to say about numerous aspects of living right—a compendium of biblical life hacks, if you will. One area in which the book of Proverbs offers a lot of insight is work.

Work comprises a major part of most of our lives. Wouldn’t we all like to say we’re good employees? Whether our work is agrarian like the Israelites’, industrial, corporate, or something else entirely, we can glean a surprising amount of solid advice about how to work well from various proverbs.

RELATED: How Can I Live Out My Faith at Work?

Here are five favorites to take to heart to become a better employee.

1. Take criticism graciously

“To one who listens, valid criticism is like a gold earring or other gold jewelry.” — Proverbs 25:12 (NLT)

In the moment, taking criticism rarely feels like being given a gift—it usually feels more like a slap in the face—but with the right attitude, criticism from a co-worker or boss truly can become constructive. We all make mistakes, and we all have blind spots. Gaining awareness of our missteps is an opportunity for growth and improvement. The miracle of perspective turns an affront into a gift of precious gold.

2. Stay out of office gossip

“A gossip goes around telling secrets, so don’t hang around with chatterers.” — Proverbs 20:19 (NLT)

Workplace gossip can be tempting. When juicy secrets about your boss or rumors of the upcoming corporate shakedown get passed around, it can be hard to tune out. But the more you hang around with gossipers, the more susceptible you become to getting gossiped about yourself. After all, if a co-worker unloads to you in whispered tones about others, they’re probably doing the same about you, too. Making a commitment to keep yourself out of such discussions sends a message to everyone around you about your integrity. Plus, when you stay out of gossip, you won’t be burdened with information you didn’t really want to know.

3. Bring your company good

“[The wife of noble character] brings [her husband] good and not evil all the days of her life.” — Proverbs 31:12 (NASB)

Bringing your workplace good things is a win-win. It benefits from what you bring to the table (new business, positive representation in the marketplace, or just plain old outstanding day-to-day work), and you get recognition for being a rockstar.

So, put your thinking cap on: How could you go above and beyond to bring blessing to your organization? Do you have a great connection that could open doors? Is there an opportunity for distinction that your workplace could earn (like a grant, if you work for a non-profit, or an award of excellence, if you work for a school)? Could you organize a social or volunteer event to boost morale? Great things may result.

4. Take advantage of opportunities

“He who gathers in summer is a son who acts wisely, but he who sleeps in harvest is a son who acts shamefully.” — Proverbs 10:5 (NASB)

If this proverb had been written today, it might be summed up as “Don’t miss out.” When summertime comes, run, don’t walk, to get some of that harvest! Many jobs present seasons of opportunity. If you find yourself in a position you don’t love, try staying on the lookout for projects that could highlight your skills or fit your passions, even if they aren’t part of the on-paper job description. (And as long as they don’t take away from your regular work.) Eventually, this may make you stand out as the go-to employee for these tasks. Your job might even get upgraded to something more in line with your interests. Harvest time!

5. Give it your all

“Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies have no sense.” — Proverbs 12:11 (NIV)

Especially in a less-than-satisfying job, dreaming about better things to come can feel like a relief. This proverb reminds us that hunkering down and doing the work in front of us at the moment yields more positive results than fantasizing about the future. It’s not wrong to dream big, but couple it with consistent hard work. Your efforts will develop character and lay the foundation for a successful career.

Doing well in the workplace is an ongoing journey. It’s so good to know God has given us a resource that’s always available for advice.

Originally published September 16, 2019.

August 30, 2024
Lessons From Saint Benedict: Creating Community in the Classroom

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The first day of school can be scary, and it’s especially scary when you’re the teacher. The first time I stood in front of a classroom, I was apprehensive, if not terrified. I wanted to engage students academically, form them in community, and assure them of God’s loving plans for their lives. But, I was daunted by the challenges of diverse student needs, apathy, and classroom management. In the face of these obstacles, I sought to respond with both excellent pedagogy and Christocentric formation.

Several years into my teaching career, I had made some progress but was still searching for inspiration. During a conference on formation, a colleague gifted me a small red booklet that would unlock a plethora of wisdom for my classroom: “The Rule of Saint Benedict.”

St. Benedict lived in Italy during the sixth century. He faced a multitude of challenges, including violence, economic instability, and a licentious culture. He wrote “The Rule” as a guide to community life in the Lord’s service. It includes instructions for prayers, meals, discipline, and work. As I read, I saw ways that St. Benedict’s wisdom could be applied in my classroom.

LISTEN: Saints of Our Lives: Saints Benedict and Scholastica

Classroom management

On my first day as a teacher, I was terrified that my students would not respect me. My solution was to assign a large amount of work and enforce scrupulous rules. I thought if students were stressed about their grades and detentions, they wouldn’t have time to be disobedient. However, it only made my students anxious and left me exhausted.

St. Benedict suggests a different approach. He insists that boundaries and rules be put in place to protect the community and help people become holy. He writes, ”In drawing up its regulations, we hope to set down nothing harsh, nothing burdensome. The good of all concerned, however, may prompt us to a little strictness in order to amend faults and to safeguard love” (Prologue 45-47).

Following St. Benedict’s advice, I started assigning work from a place of purpose, not fear. I didn’t forbid bathroom privileges but limited the pass to one student at a time. This meant that if someone abused that privilege, they were taking an opportunity from someone else: Students challenged their peers to think about the needs of others. I allowed students to work in groups, but they had to rotate working roles, ensuring a shared effort. I also dedicated 25 minutes each week to community conversations, where we discussed and argued theology, school policies, or preferred ice cream flavors.

These changes took some energy and management on my part, but the students and I became galvanized and enlivened by just a few adjustments.

RELATED: How I Instill Enthusiasm for Faith in My 10th Grade Students

Leading by example

Students need to see that teachers believe what they say, and that is done by deeds, not words. Benedict understood this to be true in the monastery, and it’s just as true in the classroom. He directs leaders to, “Point out to them all that is good and holy more by example than by words” (2.11). Whether I set an example by following the dress code, praying earnestly, or putting away my cell phone, students respond to direction well when they know that I do not expect anything from them which I do not demand of myself.

Meeting student needs

Instructing a classroom of diverse learners is a challenge. Students learn and respond to direction differently, which has led to the rise of differentiated instruction — an understanding that education needs to be tailored to individual students.

While differentiation is relatively new to education, St. Benedict employed the idea over a century ago. He says, “With the undisciplined and restless, he will use firm argument; with the obedient and docile and patient, he will appeal for greater virtue; but as for the negligent and disdainful, we charge him to use reproof and rebuke” (2:24-26). Basically, form people in the way that will be most effective for them.

I have high expectations for students, but leave room for charity. I allowed a student an afternoon snack break because medication suppressed his appetite in the morning. One of my students was exceptionally bright and needed more challenging reading, so I gave her a copy of a novel when the rest of the class only read a short selection. I added art analysis to my class and quizzes, since several students were captivated by pictures more than words. When we know our students and seek their well-being, we can lovingly differentiate.

RELATED: Four Tips for Keeping Your Semester Holy

Lesson plans, interrupted

I may craft excellent lessons and assessments, but there are days that students don’t need my lesson plan. Sometimes they need to ask new questions, catch up on work, or have time to pray. St. Benedict teaches, “Never give a hollow greeting of peace or turn away when someone needs your love” (4:20). We must never turn away someone who needs our love, which sometimes means putting aside my plans for the sake of the people in the classroom.

Love is patient

I sometimes forget that my students are students! They may not know how to stay focused, compose a sentence, or work with others. They need to be taught math equations, grammatical terms, or how to say sorry when they’ve done something wrong. St. Benedict reminds teachers to have perspective. He says, “He should realize that he has undertaken care of the sick, not tyranny over the healthy” (27:6). When I find myself frustrated by student behaviors or deficits, St. Benedict reminds me of my task—to instruct with patience and love.

As the new school year approaches, I feel both optimism and the onus of teaching. St. Benedict writes, “anyone undertaking the charge of souls must be ready to account for them” (2:37). Every teacher will be held accountable for their effort to form their students. When I open the doors to my classrooms this fall, I will not forget to open my heart, and allow Jesus and the saints, like St. Benedict, to form my classroom beyond education and towards formation in love.

August 19, 2024
Our Lady of the Assumption: Her Importance and Influence in Everyday Life

Photo by jlopez on Cathopic

One day, I asked students at the school where I work, “What’s the name of our school?” They responded in chorus with the expected exuberance of 23 first graders, “OLA!”

“What does OLA stand for?”

This response wasn’t quite as resounding as the first, “Our Lady of the Assumption!” Their eyes shone bright with proud enthusiasm.

“On what date do we celebrate Our Lady of the Assumption?”

Blank stares… then

“Wednesday!”

“Christmas!”

“New Year’s!”

One clever set of eyes darted about for clues and found a hint on a plaque hanging on the brick facade near where we stood outdoors, on our way inside from recess. She confidently blurted out “1952,” the only numbers on the plaque (the year the school was founded). Other parroting voices trailed in echo.

From that day on, the first graders could recall August 15 as Our Lady’s Day of Assumption as readily as they recalled their own birthdays. Whenever they did, I felt an inner joy and a renewed connection to Our Lady.

RELATED: Understanding and Celebrating the Feast of the Assumption

In addition to the date, the children would eventually learn the Church’s teaching on the Assumption: “The Most Blessed Virgin Mary, when the course of her life was completed, was taken up body and soul into the glory of heaven…” (Catechism of the Catholic Church 974).

Of Our Lady’s devotions and prayers, there are the Rosary, seven sorrows of Our Lady, Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal, etc. Similar to their attractions to certain of her apparitions, many Marian devotees are partial to specific feast days. Often, one chooses a particular devotion because of an experience where Jesus opens a door, and his mother appears from behind it. That was the case for me and my devotion to Our Lady of the Assumption.

A few years ago, I felt a nudge from God that it was time to seek employment outside the home after a hiatus to raise my children. To take the guesswork out of where God was calling me, I prayed the Lord would open one and only one door for my employment. Eventually one opportunity arose and the Blessed Mother seemed to confirm it in a dream.

WATCH: Mary in 2 Minutes

In the beginning of employment at OLA, the name of where I worked held no significance for me. But when I had a hard time adjusting to my job, I found solace when my eyes landed on the sign that announced Our Lady of the Assumption, as I drove into the parking lot to start the day. In solid block letters announcing her title, I found consolation on difficult days and the comfort in knowing she had chosen this place for me.

There was a time, just after I converted to the Catholic faith as an adult, I didn’t know a thing about the Blessed Mother. After some buds of our relationship began to blossom, I attempted to keep Marian dates straight to honor her. Once, I mixed up the dates of the Immaculate Conception — December 8 — and Assumption — August 15 — by mistakenly combining the two days into one and confidently marking December 15 on my calendar as an important feast day.

While my family teases me for my inability to recall anything verbatim, not even a single lyric of a beloved song, I somehow memorized all the mysteries of the Rosary practically overnight. Through the Rosary, and the maternal mentors God has placed in my life, Our Lady weaves threads of her care. From guiding me to a counselor during the rocky times of marriage to selecting our children’s high school – titled after another of Mother Mary’s namesakes – her gentle presence in my life became palpable.

Last year, on August 15, as I attended the Solemnity of the Assumption Mass at the church and school that both bear her name, I marveled at how a last minute schedule change had brought me to this landmark Mass. Mother Mary indeed wanted me there to reassure me of her call for me to this place of employment.

RELATED: Why Does Mary Have So Many Different Feast Days and Names?

I randomly recalled that when my children were in elementary school, I would attend this Mass at their school every year to pour out all my hopes for the new school year to Our Lady. One year, after the August 15 Mass, my then-13-year-old daughter had announced that she was going to teach religious education classes. I immediately knew this was a grace from Our Lady. The fruit of Mother Mary’s intercession continued as my daughter taught catechism and Vacation Bible school classes the following years; she went on to obtain a college minor in teaching, and took a gap year after graduation to volunteer as a teacher. Our Lady of the Assumption’s intercession continues to bear great fruit in my family’s lives.

My new place of employment was her nod to me as my mother, and yet another thread confirming she claimed me as her own. At the place that bears her name, this mother of all mothers is schooling me in true discipleship. Lesson plans in love, sacrifice, and humility often shine a mirror on warts I never saw before; some days the virtues she’s trying to instill in me scratch against my pride and leave scrapes that feel like cuts. But when I look at my paycheck, I’m reminded that of all the places to work, I labor for Our Lady, and there is no one kinder and gentler to tutor me in the virtues.

One chooses a saint as his/her own because of an experience of his/her intercession. It’s a mystical, reciprocal companionship. A devotion to Our Lady’s feast day is similar. Of her feast days, I have to say Our Lady of the Assumption, where she schools me in lessons in love, is my favorite. Wherever I go, whenever I see a church or school named Our Lady’s Assumption. I feel the warmth of a mother’s arms; I’ll always honor her on this and other special occasions.

Our Lady of the Assumption, pray for us!

Originally published August 14, 2023.

August 14, 2024