Tag: november

  • Virtual Remembrance Retreat

    Virtual Remembrance Retreat

    With All Souls’ Day, November 2, Catholic parishes and other faith communities begin a month-long remembrance for all who have died. In the same spirit, we share this retreat as a way to remember the people in your life who have died. This virtual retreat offers a chance for you to reflect more deeply on what they have taught you, as well as an opportunity to offer thanks and determine how their legacy will guide your life going forward. Click here to open/download a PDF of the retreat.

    Getting started

    Many faith communities have a Book of Remembrance in which people are invited to write the names of those who have died.

    Begin your retreat by writing down the names of the people you would like to remember. In order to not overwhelm yourself, list no more than five names per retreat. Write these names in your journal, on a writing pad, or on a small note board so they remain visible to you for a few days. Next to each name, write a two-word description of that person. No more than two words for now, you can write more later if you’d like.

    Here’s an example:

    Michael Davis – faithful friend.

    Finally, light a candle in memory of the one(s) you have named as a sign of hopefulness

    Prayer (based on Numbers 6:24-26)

    “The Lord bless you and keep you! The Lord let his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you! The Lord look upon you kindly and give you peace!”

    Gracious God, Author of Life and Victor over Death, at this time of remembrance, I ask that you continue to bless and keep (say the names you listed above) who are now at rest in death. Smile upon them and give them your grace. Please continue to bless and keep me as well as any who were a part of their lives. May their rest be peaceful as you show them your kindness. Through Christ our Lord, Amen.

    Giving thanks

    For each person that you’ve listed, speak or write something about that person for which you are thankful.

    Reflection

    Based on your relationship with each person you have named, select one of the four ways below to reflect more deeply. Your reflection will be structured as a conversation for you to have either with the person you have named, with yourself, or with God. Conduct the conversation as you wish (writing, speaking, praying). Go at your own pace and challenge yourself to move a bit beyond your comfort zone for the sake of healing, integrity, and insight.

    “I am still grieving over you.”

    • Talk about what you are feeling specifically at this stage of your grieving.
    • Talk about what you are doing to cope with your grieving. What support do you have?
    • Talk about what you hope for in the midst of the grieving.
    • Pray for comfort in this time of grief.

    “I really need/want to let go of something concerning you.”

    • Talk about why you need or want to forgive the person you have named.
    • Talk about what you are doing to help you let go. What support do you have?
    • Talk about any insights you have gained that might explain why the person you have named hurt or offended you.
    • Make a statement of your intention to let go and move on.
    • Pray for the strength to show mercy.

    “I wish I could have said this to you.”

    • Talk about what the person you have named means to you.
    • Talk about what specifically you wanted to say to them and why.
    • Talk about what you hoped for in your relationship with the person you named.
    • Pray for your peace of mind and heart.

    “I hope you are at peace.”

    • Talk about what the person you have named went through.
    • Talk about what you hope the person experiences in this time of rest.
    • Talk about how your perspectives and outlooks have grown in virtue because of knowing the
    • person you have named.
    • Pray for a peaceful rest for the person you have named.

    Legacy

    Here is an opportunity for you to mention what the person you have named has taught you and what you would like to carry forward in your own life. Use the guidelines below for creating your legacy statement:

    In the course of their life, (names from above) taught me to ___________. In gratitude and hope, I plan to live out their lesson by ___________, with the help of God.

    Closing prayer

    Excellent Lord, you are the God of the living and of the dead. In the moment of remembering (names from above) who have died, I take this time to commend so many who have died to your loving care. Especially remember those who have died alone, children who have died, those who have died from disease and poverty, and those who have died as a result of war or violence. May they truly rest in peace.

    For the ones who loved them, give comfort. Let them know your loving care through your presence and the presence of friends and community. May those who are grieving be touched by tangible expressions of consolation and support.

    God, in your grace, show those who have died your loving mercy. And, in your wisdom, let their legacies help us live better lives. Amen.

    Conclusion

    Here are a few suggestions for your ongoing remembrance:

    • Write the names of those you are remembering in your parish’s Book of Remembrance.
    • Light a candle in a church for the ones you have named in this retreat.
    • Create a page in your journal for each person you have named. Add photos and even funeral programs to your entries.
    • Use the legacy portion of this retreat with others. Plan a time with family or mutual friends to celebrate and remember the legacy of the deceased.

     

    Originally published on November 1, 2017.

  • How Prayer Cards Help Me Honor the Holy Souls That Have Gone Before Me

    How Prayer Cards Help Me Honor the Holy Souls That Have Gone Before Me

    The cover photo consists of the Virgin Mary on a prayer card held up towards the sky.

    A few years ago, some bedroom repair work forced me to move piles of stuff around. As I was rearranging the room, I happened to notice a novelty box in which I have kept memorial cards of the deceased for many years.

    As I looked through the cards, there were surprises – people I had forgotten about who had shown acts of kindness to me: a friend’s sister, a woman I volunteered with at a pregnancy resource center, great aunts and uncles, holy priests. Cards of relatives who had died before I was born had been passed down to me — like my grandfather, who I never knew (except through stories from my Mom and grandmother).

    RELATED: Grateful to Our Beloved Dead: Remembering Lessons From My Late Grandparents

    As I went through the remembrances, I said the prayers on the backs of them. I noticed connections – this person died on the same day as that person, years later. I thought about these women and men, all of whom had an effect on my life in little or big ways, in ways that I will never know; I realized, we really are “the communion of saints.”

    Since I work in communications, my thoughts often focus on the tools we use to communicate. Those memorial cards communicate! They communicate a life of a man or woman made in the image and likeness of God with a unique story of love and pain and joy and suffering – of God’s plan lived out.

    In November, we pray for the Holy Souls so they can share in the Beatific Vision of our Lord Jesus Christ who sacrificed his life and death for us and loves every single soul.

     LISTEN: Can the Souls in Purgatory Pray for Us?

    A friend of mine puts praying for the Holy Souls in action by keeping a running prayer list with names of the deceased, going back generations. Similar to keeping memorial cards, it is a tangible reminder of those who have been before us and our need to pray for them. It also makes me think of the tradition of Native Americans that I learned about in the Knights of Columbus documentary, “Enduring Faith: The Story of Native American Catholics,” aired on EWTN prior to the Holy Father’s visit to Canada in the summer of 2022.

    Harold Compton, the Deputy Director of Policy and Research for the Rosebud Reservation talked about how they believe in the sacredness of the number seven, and aim to look at how their actions as a tribe will affect seven generations forward. They encourage thinking about how one sits in the middle of those seven generations: “Looking back three generations – what did you learn from those three generations; what have they given you? And the three generations coming after you, and looking at what you, as the middle of that seven generations, can do, sharing that knowledge from the past with the future.”

    As I think back three generations, I recall a story about how a great-grandfather (who of course I did not know) would open the door of his home after Mass to provide food for the homeless. My grandmother carried that story forward to me and I can share it with my nieces and nephews.

    RELATED: Why Do Catholics Pray for the Dead?  

    So, if you are in a desperate fit when cleaning, do not throw out those memorial cards. This November, pray for the departed, ponder something you know about him or her, and how you might carry that lesson forward. Ask the Holy Souls to pray for you.

    When we were children, we were taught to pray for “the most abandoned soul in purgatory.” It is a spiritual work of mercy. Saint Stanislaus Papczyński said: “There is no greater act than to pray for the holy souls in Purgatory because unlike us on earth, they can no longer pray for themselves.”

    My box of memorial cards is overflowing. Soon I will need a new one. And someday there will be a dusty card with my name on it (I sure hope they don’t go all digital). I hope one November, decades from now, some great-great niece or nephew picks up that card and prays for me. That, indeed, will be a work of mercy.

    Originally published Nov. 3 2023.