Tag: heaven

  • Keeping the Faith After Loss: Catholic Resources for Those Affected by Suicide

    Keeping the Faith After Loss: Catholic Resources for Those Affected by Suicide

    for an article on suicide awareness, an empty bench with autumn leaves on the ground behind itAhead of this year’s World Suicide Prevention Day, we at Busted Halo prayerfully remember and pray for the souls of those who have died by suicide, for people who are vulnerable to suicide, and for those who are impacted by loss. As Catholics, we believe in the sanctity and dignity of every human life, no matter the struggles they face. We are called to support those who are struggling with compassion, empathy, and well-informed action and awareness efforts. 

    We hope these articles and podcasts on suicide and resources for those impacted by it, enlighten, offer consolation, and inspire hope. 

    What Happens to the Soul of Someone Who Commits Suicide? 

    “Many people were raised thinking that the soul of a person who commits suicide can never be redeemed. Father Dave addresses these concerns and misconceptions, making specific reference to the Catechism, which says, ‘We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives.’ 

    Father Dave continues, ‘We pray for people who have committed suicide in the same way we pray for anyone who has died. We pray for their soul.’”

    Do People Who Commit Suicide Go to Hell? 

    “In today’s times, we know much more about mental illness than ever before. We now know that anyone who commits suicide is not in control over their own actions. For something to be sinful, by definition, it needs to be done willfully, meaning, we need to be free to make the choice to commit the act in the first place and we have to know that the act is sinful.

    So therefore, if one is not in control over their own actions, they cannot be held responsible for what they have done, suicide included.”

    9 Ways to Help a Grieving Friend (That Aren’t Bringing a Meal) 

    “From my own experiences, I’ve learned that while the standard ‘Please let me know if there’s anything I can do’ means well, concrete action provides so much more assistance. When you know a friend is laid low in the mire of grief or despair, don’t wait for their call. Take action. Step in. Show up. Whether it’s bringing a meal or doing something less orthodox, any practical help will be welcomed with immense gratitude.”

    Grieving a Loved One’s Loss to Suicide

    “What we hope is that these books can bring comfort and healing to people who are in such terrible grief. Heaped on top of losing someone is the stigma and even discrimination that goes along with suicide. Losing a loved one is always hard. When it’s by suicide, it can sadly it can make it even harder.”

    Approaching Mental Health Through a Catholic Lens With Deacon Ed Shoener

    Deacon Ed Shoener is the president of the Association of Catholic Mental Health Ministers, and the co-author of two books with Bishop John Dolan of the Diocese of Phoenix, called “When a Loved One Dies by Suicide” and “Responding to Suicide: A Pastoral Handbook for Catholic Leaders.”

    Deacon Ed discusses mental health ministry in the Church. “We’re recognizing the need to do something about [mental health] and the need for God to be in the midst of this.”

    Experiencing Suicide Bereavement With the Help of the Sacraments

    “Every time I went to Mass after my sister’s death, I brought something with me. Often, it was anger against people I felt had contributed to my sister’s mental illness or had failed to help her. … During Mass, I acknowledged I did not know the whole picture and asked for the grace to forgive. I prayed for people I did not want to pray for, and gradually the anger eased.

    I am a Catholic convert. The sacraments have been a great support since my conversion, and especially now.” 

    Fr. Chris Alar on Finding Hope After a Loved One’s Suicide 

    “Fr. Chris explains that years after his grandmother’s death, a priest told him he can still pray for her, ‘I said “Father, how? She’s already been judged.”’ And he told me that God is outside of time. There’s no past. There’s no future. Everything is present eternally at one moment to God. … God will take my prayer into account for my grandmother at the moment of her death years ago.” 

    Discussion About Suicide from the Busted Halo Show

    Father Dave and Brett talk to a listener who recently lost his son by suicide. Father Dave explains that platitudes from well-wishers aren’t helpful to many who are grieving, and Brett opens up about his experience as someone who has friends who died by suicide. 

    My Daughter Committed Suicide. What Prayer Do I Say So That She Can Go To Heaven? 

    “Dearest Lord,

    We entrust (name) to your undying mercy and love.

    While in this life, they felt much pain and found life difficult.

    May you enfold them now with your love where no pain can find them, but rather your love can heal them.

    Make them Guardian Angels for those who struggle with life, for those who struggle to see you and the love that is around them.

    Give them Lord, kind admittance to your Kingdom and bring comfort to their families.

    We ask this, as we ask all things, through Christ our Lord. Amen.”

    Book: ‘The Catholic Guide to Depression: How the Saints, the Sacraments, and Psychiatry Can Help You Break Its Grip and Find Happiness Again’

    Extensive clinical experience treating patients with depression has shown author Dr. Kheriaty that the confessional can’t cure neuroses, nor can the couch forgive sin. Healing comes only when we integrate the legitimate discoveries of modern psychology and pharmacology with spiritual direction and the Sacraments, giving particular attention to the wisdom of the Church Fathers and the saints.

    Other Resources

    To Write Love On Her Arms

    To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire, and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.

    The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families 

    Whether you’re grieving, or you’re helping someone who is grieving, Dougy Center is here for you. Find tip sheets, activities, podcasts, and more resources.

    The Trevor Project 

    The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25.

    Mental health resources for underrepresented communities (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention)

    From the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, find mental health resources for minority and underrepresented communities, grouped by community.

    Suicide prevention resources (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention)  

    From the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, find a list of resources for crisis situations, mental health care, and resources grouped by mental health conditions.

    If you or a loved one is ever experiencing suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Line at 988. And consult Suicide Prevention Hotline if you are concerned for yourself or another.

  • Finding Christ Worldwide: Embracing the Universal Celebration of Mass

    Finding Christ Worldwide: Embracing the Universal Celebration of Mass

    The author in front of Burgos Cathedral in Spain. (Photo courtesy of Sheila DeBoer)

    Going to weekly Mass at St. Vincent de Paul – my large home parish in Washington State – was just another part of my routine growing up. I could count on sliding into a pew each Sunday with my parents and younger brother and sister, and I might even altar serve on a given weekend. 

    Mass was something I enjoyed, but it wasn’t something I connected to on a deeper level. To me, Mass was just what we did as a family, something very regular and earthly, like going to the grocery store or the park. I paid attention, enjoyed the music, and looked around at all those gathered, but I didn’t understand much of what was happening. Afterward, our family would head out for a meal or run errands, and the Mass we had attended would take its place as a pleasant memory.  

    As I entered high school, received the Sacrament of Confirmation, and began lectoring, my interest in discovering a deeper-than-surface-level understanding of the Mass began to grow. Then, when I experienced Mass in other Catholic Churches besides my home parish — a midwestern parish in North Dakota while visiting my sister, a beautiful basilica in Spain on pilgrimage, or Galway’s cathedral in Ireland on a trip with my mom all in my early 20s—  I began to notice the uniqueness of liturgical worship in a new way. 

    RELATED: Attending Mass in a Different Language Taught Me About the Universality of the Church

    I began to recognize that the Mass I was part of in my home parish each week was being celebrated universally around the world, in different languages and cultures — and the same Christ was present through the words of the priest in each act of consecration at the altar. This realization broadened my view of the Mass from something ordinary to something extraordinary. 

    As my appreciation for the Mass grew, I came across an even more profound reality: The Mass is a celebration where both the living and dead are in attendance. I discovered this truth only a year or two ago when listening to the Catechism in a Year podcast with Fr. Mike Schmitz. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church in article #1354 regarding the Mass: “The Church indicates that the Eucharist is celebrated in communion with the whole Church in heaven and on earth, the living and the dead, and in communion with the pastors of the Church, the pope, the diocesan bishop, his presbyterium and his deacons, and all the bishops of the whole world together with their Churches.” 

    It is out-of-this-world (literally!) to realize that the Mass is more than a universal celebration across lands and peoples on earth, but that at each and every Mass, heaven literally touches earth. In the Lord’s Prayer, we ask that God’s will be “done on earth as it is in heaven,” and the Mass is a foretaste of heaven. In the book of Revelation, the apostle John has a vision of heavenly worship. He writes: “Day and night without ceasing they sing, ‘Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come.’” 

    It is fitting, then, that at Mass, we echo these words on earth in the Sanctus, a Latin Eucharistic prayer, or prayer of the angels, offering our praise and thanksgiving to God: “Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God of hosts, heaven and earth are full of your glory. Hosanna in the highest.” At every Mass, we are in attendance with the angels, as well as those loved ones who have gone before us — participating personally with a great cloud of heavenly witnesses singing and glorifying God. 

    RELATED: 7 Ways to Connect More Deeply With Sunday Mass

    St. John Chrysostom, an early father of the Church, once said: “When Mass is being celebrated, the sanctuary is filled with countless angels who adore the Divine Victim [sacrificed] on the altar. Do we consider the presence of angelic hosts with us at Mass as we remember and represent the one and only sacrifice of Christ on the cross upon the altar? Whenever I attend Mass, I enter into worship of the creator with those in heaven and those on earth. What I have come to believe is that the Mass is anything but ordinary. The Mass is an extraordinary gathering not just of persons around the world from different languages and cultures, but a unity of persons and angelic hosts spanning time and era, life and death.   

    Now when I attend Mass, whether at my home parish or elsewhere around the world, I take a moment to appreciate and acknowledge the ways the heavenly worship is part of my earthly worship. Instead of only looking around at the other parishioners, I remember loved ones who have gone before me, and I praise and thank God while at Mass as they do at every moment in heaven, imagining they are sitting beside me in the pew. When I listen to the music, I also gaze at the altar or smell the sweet aroma of incense, imagining a choir of angels around the priest at the table of the Lord. These small adjustments help me to view Mass not only as something earthly but also as something deeply and profoundly heavenly.