Tag: fathers day

  • Virtual Father’s Day Retreat

    Virtual Father’s Day Retreat

    Father’s Day is this weekend and it’s time to honor dear old Dad. Fathers share helpful advice and wisdom throughout our lives (or at least they try to). Even if we’re too busy or stubborn to listen, dads are giving us tips on how to make our lives the best they can be. This virtual retreat helps children and their fathers connect with those wisdom moments and one another. You can do this retreat on your own or with your dad! Live far away? E-mail Dad the link and get on the phone, Facetime, or Skype. So, in addition to a card or gift (don’t forget!) celebrate Father’s Day with your father in a unique way. Click here to download the PDF.

    Getting Started

    Find a comfortable place in your home or even outdoors for this retreat. Take a few minutes to think about your father and other men who have been wise and guiding figures in your life. You might want to light a candle in memory of wisdom figures who have passed away.

    Now, settle into the moment…

    • Close your eyes and breathe deeply
    • Recognize that God is with you

    Prayer

    Heavenly Father, we thank you for our fathers. They gave us life and continue to give us the wisdom to live our lives. By their examples of love, we know ourselves. By their examples of faith, we know you better. Invigorate our fathers with the love and respect of their children so that they may be encouraged, inspired, and greatly blessed. Amen.

    Reading

    Proverbs: 23:22-25

    Listen to your father who begot you,
    do not despise your mother when she is old.
    Buy truth and do not sell:
    wisdom, instruction, understanding!
    The father of a just person will exult greatly;
    whoever begets a wise son will rejoice in him.
    Let your father and mother rejoice;
    let her who bore you exult.

    Thoughts on the Reading

    Mark Twain once said, “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” It always seems that when we are children (or not so much children) of a certain age, we think we know it all. We believe we have all the answers. And our parents just don’t get it. It’s so easy to become dismissive and turn away from sources of real wisdom, opting instead to rely on our own resources. Yet, if we pay attention, we may be fortunate enough to see that though our fathers grew up in a different time with different options, they have the wisdom to know how certain situations will progress. Having been through, or at least seen, most everything that we go through, they can provide advice, warning, instruction, and insight that can help us make better decisions in our lives. The wisdom that fathers give can help us to know who we are and what we are able to do. It can help distinguish between things that are good for us and things that will harm us.

    The parental pride moment in the Proverbs scripture happens today when we translate tried and true wisdom from Dad, Mom, and others into our current reality. When we’re teaching old wisdom in new ways by lives that are characterized by love and justice, our fathers are proud. And we further a legacy that we pass on to our families and to the world.

    Reflecting on the Reading

    Take a few moments to think about (or even write down) your responses to the following. If you do this retreat with your father, share your reflections with one another.

    • For daughters and sons – What wisdom and truths about your life has your father passed on to you? How has your father’s example given you the strength to deal with the realities of life?
    • For fathers – What wisdom and truths have your children shared with you that enable you to live better in today’s world? What challenges do your children face in today’s world that will show off their strength, character, and talents?
    • For new fathers – Name three truths you hope to teach your children. How has this new role of father helped you to better appreciate your own father?

    Praying for the Community

    God, we give thanks today for our fathers and for all they have done to share wisdom and truth. We especially remember fathers who struggle to maintain their families, single fathers, and fathers who bravely face social injustice for the sake of their families – that from their sacrifice come children capable of changing the world. We remember fathers who have lost children through death – that they may receive the consolation that gives peace and hope. We remember fathers who have died – that their legacy of wisdom and love may be a sturdy rock upon which we proudly stand. We also pray for fathers who are imprisoned, fathers who suffer from addictions or abuse, and fathers who have left or harmed their families – that the mercy and love of God may guide and strengthen their hearts and minds to repair what has been broken.

    Add your own: God, we remember fathers who….

    Make a Commitment to Share Wisdom

    Using your reflection responses as a guide, make a personal commitment to share the wisdom you have learned from your father or another wisdom figure in your life.

    Ideas: send an e-mail or personal note to a friend or family member who could use some of the same fatherly advice you’ve received. Incorporate this commitment into your role as someone’s godparent. Serve as a mentor, tutor, confirmation sponsor, or other volunteer who works with young children and teenagers.

    Conclusion

    God of all fathers, in your wisdom and love you have made all things. As we honor our fathers this Father’s Day, help us to live a father’s example. May our minds and hearts become stronger in the wisdom and love that we share. Help us to promote truth, value necessary instruction, and foster mutual understanding as we go through life. And may a spirit of greater respect strengthen us all. Amen.

  • Do This in Memory of Me

    Do This in Memory of Me

    John’s dad’s 1929 Model-A Ford Tudor Sedan

    “Will you take care of my car for me after I’m gone?” My father asked me while we sat in my sister’s living room. I didn’t know it at the time, but that would be one of the final face-to-face conversations he and I would have before he passed away less than a month later.

    The car that Dad was referring to was his beloved 1929 Model-A Ford Tudor Sedan. He had bought it for $125 back in 1962 when he was 14 years old and then spent the next two years restoring a car that he couldn’t yet legally drive himself. When kids his age were drooling over the latest muscle cars and building hot rods in their garages, my father was restoring a 33-year-old family car. It would be the modern-day equivalent of seeing a kid put all of his blood, sweat, and tears into a 1986 Ford Taurus station wagon.

    As a professional auto mechanic his entire life, my dad owned hundreds of cars. The Model-A was the only car he would never sell. The car was at his high school graduation, it was at my parents’ wedding (as well as the weddings of many of their friends), and it is pictured on my parents’ tombstone. So, when asked if I would take custody of his car for him, how could I say anything but yes?

    At the time that my dad died, the week before Father’s Day in 2016, his Model-A had not been on the road in close to 15 years. During those years, my mom was diagnosed with a terminal disease, and Dad became her primary caregiver. Shortly after her passing, his health quickly declined. For all of that time, the ’29 Ford sat in storage, neglected, rusting, and collecting dust. By the time I took over its care, the car’s engine was completely seized up, and no amount of pulling on its hand crank would break it loose.

    Luckily, in Dad’s collection of extra parts, he had a spare engine/clutch/transmission assembly that matched what was in the car. My 11-year-old daughter, Bella, and I spent the summer of 2017 rebuilding the spare engine and getting it running on a test stand. Then last fall, we swapped out the seized engine in the car for the one we now had running. By late November, we took the car for its maiden voyage around our neighborhood; the first time it had driven under its own power in nearly a decade and a half.

    RELATED: Virtual Father’s Day Retreat

    John and his daughter Bella getting ready to take his dad’s car for a spin.

    This whole project has become about so much more than the car. It has been a means of grieving the loss of both of my parents, a bonding experience for my daughter and me, and, believe it or not, a basis for theological reflection as well.

    That last angle didn’t occur to me until sitting in Mass one day recently when the priest referenced the famous exchange between Jesus and Peter recorded at the end of John’s Gospel: “Do you love me?”… “Feed my sheep.” (John 21:17)

    Dad’s question came echoing back to me: “Will you take care of my car for me after I’m gone?” Like Peter, I was quick to respond, but I doubt either one of us knew what we were signing ourselves up for. In both cases, by the time we knew enough to ask informed questions, the person we would have asked was no longer with us.

    By the time Jesus’ first disciples were out in the community continuing his ministry, they surely encountered and experienced many things that they felt like they were unprepared for. At Pentecost, the Holy Spirit descended upon the first disciples to continue to inspire and guide them in following their Christian mission. Dad didn’t leave me with nearly as powerful of an advocate as the Holy Spirit, but at least I have Google and YouTube to help me out.

    As I reflect on these unexpected parallels between an old Ford and the Catholic faith, I’m also struck by how they are both handed down through word and tradition from one generation to the next. We know that Jesus’ original 12 Apostles passed on the faith through their writings and through their actions. As we work on the Model-A, Bella often comments, “I love how the car still smells like Grandpa.” She’s not wrong — it does smell like him, or he smelled like it. They both had that unique potpourri of gear grease, gasoline, and exhaust that all old mechanics have. Bella still has that firsthand experience to remember what her grandfather smelled like. But her kids will not. They will have to come to rely on her descriptions, much like we have come to rely on all of those generations of Christians who have gone before us.

    I still don’t view the Model-A as “my car.” I tell people it’s my dad’s car — I’m just taking care of it for him. Someday, down the road, Bella will take over as its primary caretaker. She’ll teach her kids about their Catholic faith and how their great-grandpa bought a car for $125 when he was 14 years old. Based on what I’ve seen thus far, I think I’ll be leaving both the car and the faith in good hands.

    Originally published June 11, 2018