Tag: fathers

  • Virtual Father’s Day Retreat

    Virtual Father’s Day Retreat

    Father’s Day is this weekend and it’s time to honor dear old Dad. Fathers share helpful advice and wisdom throughout our lives (or at least they try to). Even if we’re too busy or stubborn to listen, dads are giving us tips on how to make our lives the best they can be. This virtual retreat helps children and their fathers connect with those wisdom moments and one another. You can do this retreat on your own or with your dad! Live far away? E-mail Dad the link and get on the phone, Facetime, or Skype. So, in addition to a card or gift (don’t forget!) celebrate Father’s Day with your father in a unique way. Click here to download the PDF.

    Getting Started

    Find a comfortable place in your home or even outdoors for this retreat. Take a few minutes to think about your father and other men who have been wise and guiding figures in your life. You might want to light a candle in memory of wisdom figures who have passed away.

    Now, settle into the moment…

    • Close your eyes and breathe deeply
    • Recognize that God is with you

    Prayer

    Heavenly Father, we thank you for our fathers. They gave us life and continue to give us the wisdom to live our lives. By their examples of love, we know ourselves. By their examples of faith, we know you better. Invigorate our fathers with the love and respect of their children so that they may be encouraged, inspired, and greatly blessed. Amen.

    Reading

    Proverbs: 23:22-25

    Listen to your father who begot you,
    do not despise your mother when she is old.
    Buy truth and do not sell:
    wisdom, instruction, understanding!
    The father of a just person will exult greatly;
    whoever begets a wise son will rejoice in him.
    Let your father and mother rejoice;
    let her who bore you exult.

    Thoughts on the Reading

    Mark Twain once said, “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” It always seems that when we are children (or not so much children) of a certain age, we think we know it all. We believe we have all the answers. And our parents just don’t get it. It’s so easy to become dismissive and turn away from sources of real wisdom, opting instead to rely on our own resources. Yet, if we pay attention, we may be fortunate enough to see that though our fathers grew up in a different time with different options, they have the wisdom to know how certain situations will progress. Having been through, or at least seen, most everything that we go through, they can provide advice, warning, instruction, and insight that can help us make better decisions in our lives. The wisdom that fathers give can help us to know who we are and what we are able to do. It can help distinguish between things that are good for us and things that will harm us.

    The parental pride moment in the Proverbs scripture happens today when we translate tried and true wisdom from Dad, Mom, and others into our current reality. When we’re teaching old wisdom in new ways by lives that are characterized by love and justice, our fathers are proud. And we further a legacy that we pass on to our families and to the world.

    Reflecting on the Reading

    Take a few moments to think about (or even write down) your responses to the following. If you do this retreat with your father, share your reflections with one another.

    • For daughters and sons – What wisdom and truths about your life has your father passed on to you? How has your father’s example given you the strength to deal with the realities of life?
    • For fathers – What wisdom and truths have your children shared with you that enable you to live better in today’s world? What challenges do your children face in today’s world that will show off their strength, character, and talents?
    • For new fathers – Name three truths you hope to teach your children. How has this new role of father helped you to better appreciate your own father?

    Praying for the Community

    God, we give thanks today for our fathers and for all they have done to share wisdom and truth. We especially remember fathers who struggle to maintain their families, single fathers, and fathers who bravely face social injustice for the sake of their families – that from their sacrifice come children capable of changing the world. We remember fathers who have lost children through death – that they may receive the consolation that gives peace and hope. We remember fathers who have died – that their legacy of wisdom and love may be a sturdy rock upon which we proudly stand. We also pray for fathers who are imprisoned, fathers who suffer from addictions or abuse, and fathers who have left or harmed their families – that the mercy and love of God may guide and strengthen their hearts and minds to repair what has been broken.

    Add your own: God, we remember fathers who….

    Make a Commitment to Share Wisdom

    Using your reflection responses as a guide, make a personal commitment to share the wisdom you have learned from your father or another wisdom figure in your life.

    Ideas: send an e-mail or personal note to a friend or family member who could use some of the same fatherly advice you’ve received. Incorporate this commitment into your role as someone’s godparent. Serve as a mentor, tutor, confirmation sponsor, or other volunteer who works with young children and teenagers.

    Conclusion

    God of all fathers, in your wisdom and love you have made all things. As we honor our fathers this Father’s Day, help us to live a father’s example. May our minds and hearts become stronger in the wisdom and love that we share. Help us to promote truth, value necessary instruction, and foster mutual understanding as we go through life. And may a spirit of greater respect strengthen us all. Amen.

  • Turning to St. Joseph as a Rookie Father

    Turning to St. Joseph as a Rookie Father

    In 2021, as a rookie father of only five months or so, I often found myself turning to St. Joseph, the patron saint of fathers, during this time of change in my life. Although Jesus’ stepfather never says a word in the Bible and is only mentioned a handful of times, his witness to and relationship with the Son of God should be something each disciple ponders anew in order to gain depth and insight into who Jesus is. In the moments when I have fled to him for help, Joseph has proven to be a true guide for strength and prayerfulness.

    Coincidentally, Pope Francis named 2021 the “Year of St. Joseph.” Often, popes decide to dedicate an entire year to the patronage of a saint or theological principle in order to orient our ordinary lives completely to God. The Year of St. Joseph called for the faithful to trust in the Father’s promises. Joseph never drew attention to himself, but his importance in salvation history is unquestioned. He simply does as God asks, and we are called to humbly follow his example. 

    HOMILY: St. Joseph: Righteous and Pastoral

    My wife was pregnant between the months of January and October 2020, which was a period filled with ebbs and flows of joy, exhaustion, excitement, and anxiety. Worries about caring for the financial needs of the child along with the health of the baby were mingled with the utter amazement that a soul was traveling with us through it all. Through the advice of a close friend, I began to turn to Joseph each day and began a more intentional relationship with the man who was responsible for the safety and care of the Blessed Mother and the God-child. 

    My friend explained that each moment we have as fathers, whether before or after the birth of our children, and whether it is beautiful or challenging, is an opportunity to learn from St. Joseph. Joseph knew what it was like to wait for the birth of his child, and he knew what it was like to embark upon an unknown pilgrimage into the future. Joseph is the king of dealing with unpredictable and unforeseen situations. From the pregnancy of Mary before they lived together (Matthew 1:18), to having no place for her to give birth in Bethlehem (Luke 2:7) all the way through the flight from Egypt in fear for their lives (Matthew 2:13-14) and providing for his family with his small carpentry shop.

    RELATED: A Closer Look at St. Joseph

    Journeying from Nazareth to Bethlehem must have been arduous for Mary. For Joseph, it was a time when he was called upon to do his best to help his wife while also coming to terms with the fact that there are times that we might just feel helpless. We simply must be there for our loved ones through difficult times. 

    Joseph experienced this firsthand because he and Mary had no other choice, they had to go to Bethlehem for the census (Luke 2:4). He had to watch as she struggled through the terrain and possibly the extreme heat or bitter cold. As a first-time dad, I saw this in the times when there was nothing I could do to take away the pain or discomfort of pregnancy and labor. In these moments, Joseph as a “just man” (Matthew 1:19), would have turned inwardly to God in deep prayer. He would have brought his wife’s struggles to the Father, trusting that God was immensely and intimately close to them. 

    Trust and faithfulness to prayer must have been the defining trait of their marriage, and something that my wife and I are attempting to emulate in certain ways by turning more to God, giving him thanks, and asking for his aid. Mary and Joseph are relatable to every couple because their “plans” were never neatly organized but consistently met with challenges and hurdles. While they are the most exceptional couple of all time, they are also the most practically helpful couple of all time. The manner in which they turned to prayer was completely natural and never forced.

    RELATED: St. Joseph and a Small Lenten Miracle

    Traveling through pregnancy, my wife and I tried to do our best to come together to pray before important doctor appointments or in the midst of unclear or challenging news. The unknown pushed us to unite with each other, and pulled us closer into the love that God has for us. 

    Through the example of Joseph, I learned that life has uncertainties and challenges, but that following his lead will allow you to perceive God’s fingerprints in every present moment – no matter what might come. Joseph’s silence in the Bible, humility in following God, and trust in God’s plan made him the best suited stepfather to Christ. My prayer is that I may take his witness and become the best father I can be.

    Originally published March 19, 2021.